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Being Grateful When Times Are Tough

  • Writer: Patricia Faust
    Patricia Faust
  • Nov 10, 2021
  • 3 min read


I wanted to elaborate on gratitude during this Thanksgiving season. This blog post has run on other Thanksgivings. But COVID has kicked us down and refuses to let us up. With the awareness of gratitude in the forefront over the Thanksgiving season – what can we do? Can we fake it until we make it?


There is no doubt that feeling grateful is so much easier when life is inflow. You feel good, the family is well, the job is fantastic and life is a bowl of cherries. You could write a gratitude list with no hesitation. But what do you do when your kids have been sick, a family member dies, your furnace needs to be replaced – or a host of other problems just keep coming one after the other. Life just doesn’t have that happiness sheen when times are tough. How do you find a way to feel grateful?


How do you find a way to feel grateful?

An important point to remember is that gratitude is not frivolous – it is a coping strategy. Gratitude lifts our spirits and floods our brain with dopamine and serotonin. Dopamine controls the brain’s reward and pleasure centers. Serotonin plays a large part in mood regulation and anxiety. It seems logical that we need to get these neurotransmitters flowing and gratitude will do that.


You can not fake it until you make it, however. Gratitude is an emotion and you must feel it in order to get the brain's response. Our brain has the capacity to rewire itself. We have to recognize a positive experience that we can feel grateful for. We must change the way we think. When we consistently and repetitively recognize something to be grateful about in any situation – our brain will respond. We will be more drawn to awareness of the positive side of things instead of dwelling on the negative side of life. Sounds easy, doesn’t it!


Steps to experiencing gratitude when times are tough

· Make a list – but keep it simple.

When you are looking for something to

be grateful for making a list. The list doesn’t need to belong because you are only going to concentrate on one thing to be grateful for. When you select one thing you can emotionally invest yourself in it.


· Start with any little thing.

When you are struggling – find any little thing that is working for you: your breath, food to eat, a place to sleep. These may be items that you take for granted but this exercise is to recognize what they bring to your life and feel grateful about that. By acknowledging and noticing these small things – you can shift your ability to better deal with the challenges in your life.


· Get up and help someone else.

In case you haven’t noticed our world is quite chaotic. There are major catastrophes as well as close-to-home problems. Take a close look at what other people are going through and it might make the picture very clear – no matter what, you have a lot to be grateful about. The widespread losses in property and life in the wildfires of California make anything I am going through completely minor. When I watch survivors express gratitude that they are alive – I am so grateful for the life I live.

We can always be in a place where we can help someone else. Our dopamine will be pumping with gusto. We will feel terrific.


· Focus on the ‘Why’.

Concentrate on why you are grateful. In a gratitude journal – write why you are grateful for each item on your gratitude list. You are attaching meaning and emotion to the words you have written. You have to experience this emotion. When you write why you are grateful, your brain is more apt to reap the benefits of gratitude.


· Do one thing you are good at.

In the midst of our lives, we get so buried by life. At that time – go do something you are good at. When we can’t get anything done to completion – we feel worse about ourselves. We can’t get anything done. But, when we accomplish something our mood improves (flowing serotonin). We understand that we can move forward based on the talents we possess. Those positive feelings will enhance our brain. We will regain a sense of confidence and at that time we will be grateful for getting to that point. Remember, gratitude is a coping strategy and helps us survive when we didn’t think we could.


Thanksgiving gives a reason to look for the small things in life for which we are grateful. Understanding that we have much to be grateful for during this long stretch of COVID complications when so many people are so easily angered, should lighten our load.


References:

Campbell, P. (November 25, 2014). Gratitude in tough times. Retrieved from http://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/imperfect-spirituality/201411/gratitude-in-tough-times


Young, G. (January 21, 2016). How to be grateful when times are tough. Retrieved from http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/254199



 
 
 

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March was an unusual month for me.  Normally I work on articles, give presentations and generally just stay tuned to what is going on in the field of aging.  This month I “learned” a lot.  Last year I learned how to write a book.  At the time I took the course I thought it would just be a natural extension of all the writing I had done over the years.  WRONG!!  The actual writing of the book was the easy part.  Putting it together into a book was difficult for me.  The course gave me step by step lessons on constructing a book.  Then editing and formatting were just as challenging.  On June 7 last year the book was published!  It was one of the most satisfying days of my writing career. 

Naturally, when you self-publish, you do not have a publisher promoting the book and getting it in the right categories for best sales on Amazon.  That was crushing because I really didn’t know to appropriately market it.  I am a brain health person!  In December of last year, I purchased a marketing program that is based on statistics.  I am technical minded and so this approach made sense to me.  The course is almost completed.  Can’t wait to see if it improves sales!

The next step I am looking at is recording an audiobook.  This is another venture I knew nothing about.  But I am already tagged on Facebook for marketing of audio book programs.  Facebook picks up everything.  Now my husband was creative director for an advertising agency and when I told him I purchased another class – he couldn’t believe it.  “This was my business.  I know how to do recordings, why didn’t you ask me?” Well, I knew he was an expert in that business, but this audiobook needs to meet all the criteria that Amazon requires for publication.  So, he can take care of the recording part of this audiobook, and I will navigate the process of meeting Amazon’s requirements.  We worked on the book together like this. 

Then I talked with some coaching experts on the viability of starting group teaching programs.  Reading The Boomer Brain book and implementing the Brain Healthy Lifestyle have two entirely different outcomes.  This lifestyle is important to maintaining high cognitive function throughout the later years of our lives.  Look for updates as to when I will roll this program out.

My last learning endeavor was attending a two-day bootcamp for Speakers.  I am really excited about what I learned there.  That is a late this year or next year project, but it is one I am really looking forward to.

 

What Is Happening in April?

The American Society on Aging is having their annual conference in Orlando Florida April 21-24.  This is the largest multidisciplinary conference on aging and the annual conference for Members of ASA.  I have attended a number of these conferences throughout the years, and it is consequential.  Keynote speakers and special events are focused on combating ageism in our society.  Although this is a professional meeting, the attendees come from all aspects of aging services.  They have their work cut out for them this year!

April is Stress Awareness Month.  We should be aware of stress every month and understand how we can break the stress cycle.  These are stressful times, and we need to protect ourselves

Here is a positive one “April is National Volunteer Month”.  When I am working with new retirees who don’t know what to do, I talk to them about volunteering. It is important to have a purpose after you leave the workforce.  There are so many nonprofits who need help in all aspects of their organizations.  It is a perfect way to give back.

Finally – It was Opening Day for the Cincinnati Reds – the oldest major league team in the nation.  Cincinnati takes that responsibility seriously.  There is always an Opening Day Parade through downtown to the Ball Park.  Huge crowds line the streets and every year there is talk of making it an official holiday.  Schools and employers look the other way when there is an empty desk.  No matter what the outcome of the game is, there is so much joy, and you can feel that energy.  I am fortunate that I get to experience that.  We all need some joy right now. 

Enjoy your April.

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