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Love Is In the Air and On the Brain

  • Writer: Patricia Faust
    Patricia Faust
  • Feb 10, 2022
  • 3 min read


It is that time of year when love is celebrated – Valentine’s Day. Whether you are in the throes of new love or have been blessed with long-lasting love, Valentine’s Day brings attention to love. Even though the heart is regarded as the symbol of love, it is actually the brain that makes love happen. What is this thing called love?


Not to take the romance out of love, but our brains are uniquely designed to mate and procreate. We had to keep the species going somehow! The biological anthropologist, Helen Fisher, studied 166 societies and found evidence of romantic love in 147 of them. Richard Schwartz of the Harvard Medical School indicates from these findings that “there’s good reason to suspect that romantic love is kept alive by something basic to our biological nature”. When you are in love your brain is flooded with chemicals and hormones. This combination of chemistry produces feelings of pleasure, obsession, and attachment. We don’t have a chance!


The Three Phases of Love: Lust

Love has been divided into three phases by neuroscientists: lust, attraction, and attachment. That first phase is a whammy – during the lust phase, hormones flood the body with feelings of intense desire. Adrenalin and norepinephrine are released causing racing heart and sweaty palms while the chemical dopamine increase feelings of euphoria. The stress hormone cortisol is also in the mix of this initial phase of romantic love. As cortisol levels rise, serotonin levels fall. As described by Schwartz, these low levels of serotonin are responsible for the “intrusive, maddeningly preoccupying thoughts, hopes, and terrors of early love” – the obsessive-compulsive behaviors associated with infatuation. This drop in serotonin can cause a very singular focus on their object of affection. This can be why many lovers can be blind to their partners less desirable traits and see only their good qualities. Being love-struck causes high levels of dopamine to be released which get the reward system activated. This is the same part of the brain that makes love a pleasurable experience similar to the euphoria of cocaine and morphine. I guess you can be addicted to love!


The Three Phases of Love: Attraction

During the attraction phase, your blood is pumped to the nucleus accumbens – the brain’s pleasure center. Imaging has shown that this part of the brain lights up when people are in love. This accounts for the fixation people have for each other in this phase.

Like many chemicals, the body’s tolerance level to the pleasurable chemicals that have been flooding it through the early phases of love, start dropping. During the attraction phase another set of chemicals is released. Oxytocin and vasopressin now take over. Oxytocin is known as the love hormone and brings on feelings of contentment, calmness and security – associated with bonding.


The Three Phases of Love: Attachment

Vasopressin is linked to long-term monogamous relationships. This transition in chemicals can account for the fading of passion as attachment grows. So you have survived the first couple of years of up and down intense emotion. What’s next? The passion remains but the stress of a new relationship is gone. Cortisol and serotonin levels return back to normal. There is still passion as the relationship proceeds but the constant craving and desire found in romantic love – lessens.


Compassionate Love

This love that is deep but not as euphoric as romantic love is compassionate love. A 2011 study conducted at Stony Brook University in New York found that it is possible to be madly in love with someone after decades of marriage. Imaging studies revealed that dopamine-rich areas of the brain have the same intensity as new love. With apprehension gone, romance remains!

For those who have been married many years and and have transitioned from passionate, romantic love to a more compassionate, routine love, these studies reveal that their love can be reignited. Sexual activity can pump oxytocin levels and activate the brain’s reward system. There is no age limit on love.


Love is grand!


References:

Ackerman,D. (March 24, 2012). The brain on love. The New York Times. Retrieved from http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/03/24/the-brian-on-love/?_r=0



Lewis,T. (February 14, 2014). 5 ways love affects the brain. Retrieved from http://www.livescience.com.



 
 
 

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March was an unusual month for me.  Normally I work on articles, give presentations and generally just stay tuned to what is going on in the field of aging.  This month I “learned” a lot.  Last year I learned how to write a book.  At the time I took the course I thought it would just be a natural extension of all the writing I had done over the years.  WRONG!!  The actual writing of the book was the easy part.  Putting it together into a book was difficult for me.  The course gave me step by step lessons on constructing a book.  Then editing and formatting were just as challenging.  On June 7 last year the book was published!  It was one of the most satisfying days of my writing career. 

Naturally, when you self-publish, you do not have a publisher promoting the book and getting it in the right categories for best sales on Amazon.  That was crushing because I really didn’t know to appropriately market it.  I am a brain health person!  In December of last year, I purchased a marketing program that is based on statistics.  I am technical minded and so this approach made sense to me.  The course is almost completed.  Can’t wait to see if it improves sales!

The next step I am looking at is recording an audiobook.  This is another venture I knew nothing about.  But I am already tagged on Facebook for marketing of audio book programs.  Facebook picks up everything.  Now my husband was creative director for an advertising agency and when I told him I purchased another class – he couldn’t believe it.  “This was my business.  I know how to do recordings, why didn’t you ask me?” Well, I knew he was an expert in that business, but this audiobook needs to meet all the criteria that Amazon requires for publication.  So, he can take care of the recording part of this audiobook, and I will navigate the process of meeting Amazon’s requirements.  We worked on the book together like this. 

Then I talked with some coaching experts on the viability of starting group teaching programs.  Reading The Boomer Brain book and implementing the Brain Healthy Lifestyle have two entirely different outcomes.  This lifestyle is important to maintaining high cognitive function throughout the later years of our lives.  Look for updates as to when I will roll this program out.

My last learning endeavor was attending a two-day bootcamp for Speakers.  I am really excited about what I learned there.  That is a late this year or next year project, but it is one I am really looking forward to.

 

What Is Happening in April?

The American Society on Aging is having their annual conference in Orlando Florida April 21-24.  This is the largest multidisciplinary conference on aging and the annual conference for Members of ASA.  I have attended a number of these conferences throughout the years, and it is consequential.  Keynote speakers and special events are focused on combating ageism in our society.  Although this is a professional meeting, the attendees come from all aspects of aging services.  They have their work cut out for them this year!

April is Stress Awareness Month.  We should be aware of stress every month and understand how we can break the stress cycle.  These are stressful times, and we need to protect ourselves

Here is a positive one “April is National Volunteer Month”.  When I am working with new retirees who don’t know what to do, I talk to them about volunteering. It is important to have a purpose after you leave the workforce.  There are so many nonprofits who need help in all aspects of their organizations.  It is a perfect way to give back.

Finally – It was Opening Day for the Cincinnati Reds – the oldest major league team in the nation.  Cincinnati takes that responsibility seriously.  There is always an Opening Day Parade through downtown to the Ball Park.  Huge crowds line the streets and every year there is talk of making it an official holiday.  Schools and employers look the other way when there is an empty desk.  No matter what the outcome of the game is, there is so much joy, and you can feel that energy.  I am fortunate that I get to experience that.  We all need some joy right now. 

Enjoy your April.

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